On children and lungpower
Now I realize that, oh, every child psychologist in the world, and probably 99 percent of parents would disagree, but that’s why I have the tag “opinions on childish things by someone who doesn’t have children.” Which is to say, I really don’t care.
Today’s issue is brought to you by the nonverbal lungpower of my niece and nephew. They are about the same age, which is nearly 2. And it is fortunate that they are adorable and giggly most of the time, because the little bit of time they spend screaming? Well, let’s just say I could push them off a glacier and make it look like an accident.
So my theory is this: children’s lungpower should develop as they mature. Let them make low-decibel noises like cooing and giggling, sure, anytime after birth (or, what the hell, I’m not ageist: before birth, too); but the high decibel noises, i.e. SCREAMING THEIR BLOODY LUNGS OFF, that should not be possible until they’re able to verbalize what they want or need.
But, you say, how else will they learn to communicate?
Don’t worry, I thought that through, and here’s my answer:
QUIETLY.