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And I quote: “Dear Sam Sample”

§ March 8th, 2011 § Filed under procrastiblog, whine § Tagged , , § 3 Comments

Background: I contacted Taco Bell, like, two months ago, and asked them to consider lowering the amount of salt in their products. I mean, I look forward to heart failure as much as the next American, but I do hate being thirsty for five hours after a single bean burrito. Well, apparently they don’t like “unsolicited ideas,” “suggestions,” or “idea submissions.”  Like, y’know, feedback. On their product. Which is really salty food. Nor do they like to take the time to customize their templates.

This is the response I got, word for word:

Dear Chelsey

Dear Sam Sample,
On behalf of Taco Bell Corp. (¿Taco Bell¿), I want to thank you for taking the time to contact our Company. Because your communication contained within it a suggestion for either a product or advertising idea, we felt that is important that we clarify Taco Bell’s policy regarding accepting unsolicited ideas. As experience has proven that the practice of considering unsolicited ideas can give rise to misunderstandings as to the origin and ownership of such ideas, Taco Bell has adopted a general policy of not accepting unsolicited ideas and suggestions. Although we regularly receive many unsolicited ideas concerning our products, advertising and a wide range of other subjects, experience has shown that most of the unsolicited ideas we receive have already been considered or used by Taco Bell or its competitors. While we thank you for taking the time and effort to submit an idea or suggestion, in keeping with our Company’s policy of not accepting such ideas, we will be unable to pursue your idea submission.
Sincerely,
Guest Service Representative

Sincerely

Raye S Taco Bell Customer Support

Mr. S. Taco Bell Customer Support, can I just say that you should win an award for shoddiest customer service? And by “shoddy” of course I mean nonexistent. Also you missed a couple important commas. Idiot.

Procrastiblog returns

§ November 3rd, 2010 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, edutainment, procrastiblog § Tagged , , § 4 Comments

I’d be done with these papers if it weren’t for constantly needing to get up and (1) pee and (2) BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL, OH MY GOD.

Seriously: how can you be so articulate about what we talk about in class and then NOT APPLY IT TO YOUR PAPER?

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I have just given a paper 27%, an all-time low not counting plagiarism. The paper before that got a 90%. WTF, people.