Background: I contacted Taco Bell, like, two months ago, and asked them to consider lowering the amount of salt in their products. I mean, I look forward to heart failure as much as the next American, but I do hate being thirsty for five hours after a single bean burrito. Well, apparently they don’t like “unsolicited ideas,” “suggestions,” or “idea submissions.” Like, y’know, feedback. On their product. Which is really salty food. Nor do they like to take the time to customize their templates.
This is the response I got, word for word:
Dear Chelsey
Dear Sam Sample,
On behalf of Taco Bell Corp. (¿Taco Bell¿), I want to thank you for taking the time to contact our Company. Because your communication contained within it a suggestion for either a product or advertising idea, we felt that is important that we clarify Taco Bell’s policy regarding accepting unsolicited ideas. As experience has proven that the practice of considering unsolicited ideas can give rise to misunderstandings as to the origin and ownership of such ideas, Taco Bell has adopted a general policy of not accepting unsolicited ideas and suggestions. Although we regularly receive many unsolicited ideas concerning our products, advertising and a wide range of other subjects, experience has shown that most of the unsolicited ideas we receive have already been considered or used by Taco Bell or its competitors. While we thank you for taking the time and effort to submit an idea or suggestion, in keeping with our Company’s policy of not accepting such ideas, we will be unable to pursue your idea submission.
Sincerely,
Guest Service Representative
Sincerely
Raye S Taco Bell Customer Support
Mr. S. Taco Bell Customer Support, can I just say that you should win an award for shoddiest customer service? And by “shoddy” of course I mean nonexistent. Also you missed a couple important commas. Idiot.
Thus far, I am not so impressed with some people who work for a certain place that shall not be named. Let’s say it’s a place of business, and I have done business with them that involves giving them some personal information. Months after I sent them all the information they need — including my e-mail and phone info on several different forms — I got a secondhand e-mail from a totally different contact at the business saying I need to contact “Jane” about a missing document, one of the many I provided.
So I sit down and take about ten minutes to compose a brief, professional e-mail to Jane — whom I’ve never met — about this missing document, telling her where it is and when I sent it. And then, because I used to work in customer service, I say to let me know if she is still unable to find it, and I can get her a new one (even though doing this will cost me time and money, but I don’t say that). I sign off with a professional close and signature.
Liar, liar?
Three weeks after sending this e-mail, I finally get a terse, one-line, unpunctuated reply:
These were not included in your packet
Wow. It’s quite one thing to say, “I cannot find it in your file,” and quite another to say, “This was not included in your packet,” dig? I remember printing off the files, and I remember writing a note in explanation for one bit of information, and I remember double-checking the list of materials I had to send before I sent it. I know it was originally included, so it’s not out of line for me to feel a bit affronted.
The thing that galls me here: Jane’s job is, by nature, a people-person job. Shouldn’t she know better? In this brief exchange, she sounds like a dick: rude, lazy, unprofessional, incompetent, and unlikeable, even though if I met her face-to-face I might find her to be a positively lovely person, inside and out.
This is why writing is so important
People judge based on first impressions, whether electronic or face-to-face. So folks, if you work in public relations, marketing, human resources, and related jobs, you should be neither deliberately rude in nor ignorant of the tone of your message. Even just a professional greeting and close can make up for multitude other sins. And by all means, punctuate it. It really is the least you can do.