warmed-over soapboxesclever would be nice

Right on time and farming like a pro

§ June 22nd, 2010 § Filed under opinions on childish things, squee § 1 Comment

Saw my OB today. Was shocked — shocked! I tell you — to find out I tested negative for STDs. All that teenage promiscuity for nothing.

Otherwise, everything was normal: cell counts and all manner of blood tests; the uterus position and size; the fetal heartbeat; the decreasing nausea and increasing energy levels; and my, ahem, symptoms. In fact, the only thing slightly out of whack was the position of my bellybutton. Who knew you could have a bellybutton lower than normal? Between that and my eye doctor telling me I have, quote, huge nerve bundles in my eyes, unquote, I’m beginning to develop a body dysmorphic complex, or whatever that is. As if the growing belly and hereditary double-chin aren’t already doing that to me.

Anyway, Fetus, when you’re old enough to read, know that at 16 weeks, we were, to quote the Farming Game, right on time and farming like a pro.