Spoiling for a fight
Some days, I feel like I’m just an angry fifth-grader looking for a fight. It’s a stage I never had, looking for schoolyard fights, but now I’d sure love to give it a try. I blame my brother, the only person capable of provoking me with the merest twitch of an eyebrow. What I wouldn’t give to . . .
Ahem.
Never mind.
Today, however, I find myself restless and angry, restless because I have all this pent up argumentation and no one to share it with (tangent: while intelligent and an excellent, thoughtful person in general, the husband avoids all types of argument, so I usually have no one on which to vent my spleen), and angry because of the utter inability of so many people in this world to have a rational discussion. Here’s what I envision a rational discussion looking like:
Person 1: I believe X
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Because A, B, C . . .
Person 2: I can see A and C, but I disagree with B. Here’s why . . .
Person 1: Ah, but you are misconstruing B because . . .
In other words, YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING ENGAGE EACH OTHER. None of this avoidance shit, this stuff where you deflect and purposefully misconstrue and pretend to take offense, hoping that the other person will back off. None of the condescending “You missed the point . . .” or the watery attempt at common ground — and by the way it’s a hell of a lot easier to find common ground after you’ve figured out how far apart you are from each other, IMHO.
What happened to debate? Where has the ability to engage and rationalize gone? Are we so sensitive that a direct question is too uncomfortable? I’ll admit my skills are rusty — I come off far too strongly, even when I restrain myself — but with a little practice, I could get back into shape. I believe we can debate, and argue, and come to understand each other better, if we’d at least give it a fucking try.
Your position on the over-reliance of avoidance in contemporary debate is accurate and your argument favoring debate as a way of developing idealogical understanding is compelling. I disagree, however, with the view that finding common ground is most effective after defining ethical, philosophical, or conceptual differences. Here’s why…
huh…ironically, I can’t really think of a reason to finish that faux argument. I haven’t really figured out how far apart our arguments are from each other.
Reply
Chelsey replied:
July 21st, 2009 at 11:00
Ah, but you misconstrue my point — one needn’t must define “ethical, philosophical, or conceptual differences,” but one does need to at least make some argument wherein one’s position can be located. Then, at least, one’s position can be pinpointed, as can my position, and all we need then is a right angle to figure out how far apart . . .
Wait. Damn. Apparently my geometry skills are rusty, too.
Reply
Call me up to debate any time. I’d love the distraction from work this summer.
Reply