warmed-over soapboxesclever would be nice

Naming names

§ July 29th, 2009 § Filed under opinions on childish things § 2 Comments

Matt and I are close to a detente in the Great Puppy Name Stalemate of 2009; I’ll withhold it for now, pending approval, while crossing my fingers, tossing salt over my shoulder (or, wait, is that for luck or safety?), and making his favorite food in order to get this issue put to bed. However, a minor point has arisen that I would like to share.

I — and I’m speaking from experience here — would like to encourage all of you who name things to PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t give your child a common name AND THEN SPELL IT WEIRD JUST TO BE DIFFERENT. Although my name is not particularly common, I still cannot count the number of people, especially professors and co-workers, who spell my name wrong. ALL THE TIME.

The great thing about cursing your child with an uncommon spelling to a common name is that the kid, not you, gets to bear all the stupid questions that come along with it:

“Why do you spell it that way?”
“Because that’s how it’s written on my birth certificate.”
“Oh. Why did your parents spell it that way?”
“Because in spite of their graduate degrees, they’re illiterate. And they hate me, and they wanted me to spend an awful lot of my life correcting other people.” AND HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

Because this is what happens when you don’t correct people: sure, it’s not a big deal when your professor or boss misspells your name the first time, but when he does it on a recommendation letter for that job you really want? Yeah. Good luck with that.