We really need that fence
Dear Neighbor Across the Alley,
Hi, we haven’t met, but I’m the neighbor who got to see your little show this morning. And while I’m sure that there are women in the world who would enjoy it, I’m not one of them.
You see, I was making coffee when a movement caught my eye. I looked up and saw you putting your adorable dog in your horrid back yard. By the way, you’d be welcome to borrow our lawnmower, and I’d be happy to kill some of your weeds that creep into my garden area. Really. And I’d be happy to water and prune your lilacs to create more of a visual shield between our houses. Again, really. But back to the subject: I watched your dog lumber into the yard and roll in the dirt, and I laughed at how he wiggled around trying to scratch his back. He’s a sweetie.
Unfortunately, as I lifted my eyes, I caught a glimpse of you as you disrobed and began to lotion your body in front of your sliding glass door. I am sorry that I was the beneficiary of this, as I’m sure you intended it for my husband (he is a hottie); alas, he goes to work SO THAT WE CAN BUILD A FENCE AND NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
Sincerely,
Chelfea
I could swear Robert Frost has a poem about something like this.
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