For rent: One slightly used husband — exam-weekend special!
This coming weekend is my M.A. exam. Which I am, of course, TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO, just like a visit to the gynecologist or, I dunno, going back to high school or living with my parents again.
So how this works is I get my exam questions via e-mail on Friday morning, and I have three days to write a fifteen- to twenty-page paper, complete with sources and a theoretical basis* and, like, some original ideas on computers in the composition classroom. Part of me is like, Hey, no big deal, I always write my papers the weekend before they’re due, and I have (thus far) a 4.0 gpa in grad school. And the other part of me is like, Holy fucking shit this exam determines whether I pass or fail I AM GOING TO DIE.**
This is all to say that I need the husband out of my sight next weekend, lest he get in the way of, um, friendly fire. So if anyone out there wants the better half of this relationship, perhaps to play long and boring games that take an inordinate amount of time, by all means save him from me. Just let him come home from time to time to be sure I’m alive and well.
*I think I just threw up a little in my mouth
**Actually I have to do an oral exam too, but this written part matters a bit more
Intriguing… Maybe we could do a trade: we’ll watch him for the weekend and you can take care of our cat the next time we’re out of town. Seems like an even trade. I’ll have my people call your people.
[Reply]
I second the motion. We will plan for a weekend of games. No Axis and Allies, though, or then it would be long and boring.
[Reply]
If your experience is anything like mine, the anticipation will prove to be far worse than the event itself. I predict that you will rock your exam–though temporarily feel terrible about it and yourself after handing it in–and realize after the fact that it wasn’t nearly as bad as you expected and THANKGOODNESSIT’SOVER and you never have to do it again (unlike, say, a visit to the lady doctor!).
[Reply]
You can always ship him to Reno. Just punch air holes in the cargo box.
[Reply]