my husband has a girlfriend
i even know what she looks like: she’s smaller and skinnier than i am, though i’m comforted to know that her head is disproportionately large and her face is quite flat and unremarkable; she’s very pasty-looking and unhealthy and she has tattoos all over her body. i don’t know what he finds attractive in her—probably her mind, as there’s no denying that she can comprehend things i cannot—but i don’t think she really puts out, so it’s probably not the sex.
he buys her expensive gifts. he talks to her and spends time with her long into the night when he should be lying next to me. even though she knows of me—we were friends before i married him—she lets him come and go whenever he pleases, flaunting their relationship to my very face. she claims that he can quit any time he wants, especially when my jealousy flares up, but he just tells her he’ll be back, comes and talks to me, and then picks up with her where he left off.
not knowing about her was better: before we were married, i had no idea how much time they spent together. i thought they were just friends, that he needed her for advice, that when we were married, things would be different….
i should’ve known better. i should’ve seen the signs: late-night when i’m awakened by his voice, i call out from the bedroom and ask if he’s talking to me. he says, guiltily, no, and that i should go back to sleep and he’ll be there soon. he’s talking to her.
someday i’m going to put my fist through her face. someday i’m going to stomp on her body so badly he’ll never be able to touch it again. in the meantime, i’m going to delete her programs so she’s merely a monochromatic word-processing, solitaire-playing dinosaur like the first girlfriend my dad bought.