Ugh, with a twist: Teaching, racism, and adjuncting

§ April 5th, 2012 § Filed under edutainment § Tagged § 4 Comments

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Apparently the “white people pride” discussion did NOT go well, because now I have a student who wants to write about National Socialism and how racism “isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” that the preservation of the white race is “just like” the preservation of a rare species of songbird. Oh, and the swastika? Sure, there was that Hitler problem, but it’s really just an old symbol of power.

I honestly, truthfully have no idea how to handle this — partly because, I mean, holy shit, you really want to defend racism and white pride in my class? I’m also kind of pissed because he clearly didn’t listen or think about anything anyone but he said in the previous class conversation about “white people pride.” But mostly, I want to figure out how to actually teach him to open his mind to ways of thinking he’s currently closed to. And I don’t have any fucking clue how to do that on a topic like this.

Here’s the thing: I could shut him down and say, “No, that’s not an appropriate topic.” And what exactly is that going to do? Is that going to open his eyes to the fact that, oh yeah, racism is bad? No. Shutting down a conversation just allows racism to fester, hidden away.

Yet if I allow him to research this, how can I do it in a way that opens his eyes to truly understand the issue — in a way that doesn’t just allow him to reinforce what he already believes?

– That would be easy, you’d think, after I tell you that when I teach “research” writing at the Pen, I do all the research for my students because, by the by, they have no access to a library or inter-library loans. So I control what information they get. Voila!, right? Just give him the stuff I want him to read?

Yeah, no. That will be totally transparent to him. These guys aren’t dumb. He knows there’s plenty of information out there that he wants to read, and I know that it isn’t what I want him to read. So I imagine it’ll go something like this: I’ll talk to him about doing honest research and keeping an open mind, learning to recognize biased sources and twisted logic and all that. He’ll realize he has two choices: to write a paper I want to read, or write a paper I’ll give him an F on, and then he gets to take this class again next quarter. (Remind me who teaches this class? Oh, right. Me.) If he’s lucky, he might open his mind and write an honest, thoughtful paper reexamining and reassessing his beliefs. I just need to figure out how to tweak the circumstances in order to have the best chance at arriving at that “lucky” result. But how?

And now, with due respect to O. Henry, I offer my twist:

This is precisely what sucks about being an adjunct. If I were teaching on a campus and had connections and colleagues to consult about this kind of thing, or if I’d heard about how others deal with it in staff meetings with other instructors in the same boat or at professional conferences or in the literature available to me as a result of my being a real member of the faculty, I would be far better prepared to deal with it. But I’m an adjunct. I have no office (for my job teaching at the Pen, anyway), no colleagues (other than the people I walk into and out of the building with), no funding for attending conferences or subscribing to journals about this. I should research it on my own time, but I teach fucking writing classes and there is no such thing as “my own time.”

America, this is our education system. And providing an education to incarcerated students is one of the few things actually likely to reduce their chances of recidivism (thus saving taxpayer dollars by preventing them from going back to prison…you’re welcome). Our education system and our capitalist system mean that adjuncts like me are hired because we are cheap labor: crap wages, no benefits. And we are insufficiently equipped and supported for situations like this. If I don’t do well in the case of this student, I suspect I could end up having a huge negative effect on this guy’s life — not to mention his recidivism chances.

I bet there are adjuncts out there who would actually know what to do in this situation, either because they’ve handled it or because they’ve studied it. I haven’t handled a situation as bold as this, and I certainly didn’t do my M.A. on “How to Teach Racists They’re Wrong.” I did study enough about race relations to know that this is an insidious, illogical brain problem, and as we see daily in American politics, rational thought, facts, and information rarely touch people whose minds are so closed. So I know the basics. But this is by far the most challenging situation I’ve found myself in: because it’s racism, it’s the penitentiary, it’s something that I know to my very core is wrong and he believes, probably to his very core, is right.

Yet that’s my job. I’m going to do it. I just wish I knew how to do it best.

On “white people pride”

§ March 28th, 2012 § Filed under edutainment, squee § Tagged § 1 Comment

Tonight in my penitentiary class we were talking about audience. I stumbled verbally trying to decide whether to call readers of the magazine Ebony “black” or “African-American.”

“It’s okay, you can say it,” one of the white students said. There’s no hiding in this class.

“Well, what do you prefer?” I asked the black student whose audience was in question. “Black or African-American?”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” he said. “Only old people care about that stuff.”

This led us into the rabbithole of rhetoric and political correctness, and eventually one white student wondered why there is a black caucus and a Hispanic caucus (there is?) but no white caucus in Congress. “Like, why can’t we have white people pride?” he asked.

I’m sure I have complained in the past about students wondering why there’s no “white people history month,” etc., but at times like this class discussion tonight, I remember that this question presents itself anew to each student, each person, each generation. And as the Trayvon Martin case has shown, Americans are very bad at talking about race. Just, awful. Horrible. So it is, but shouldn’t be, a surprise to those of us who have these difficult conversations that they arise with each new batch of students. (You’d think that would keep me from fumbling and bumbling my way through it by this point; alas.)

Meditations on race and music taste

§ March 27th, 2012 § Filed under edutainment § Tagged § 2 Comments

Student: Well, I like rap, but I don’t know how to write a research paper about rap.

Me: You know, I once had a student write a really good paper about Tupac and…

Student: It’s “too-pock.”

Me: Not “two-pack”? Like…six-pack?

Student: No.

Me: Oh. Sorry, I’m just really white.

Student: That’s okay.

Me: …Anyway, you said you’re also interested in Seattle, and music, so why not write about the grunge movement? It started in Seattle.

Student: What’s grunge?

On why it is so hard to change the world

§ March 8th, 2012 § Filed under human rights § Tagged , , , § 3 Comments

I seriously toyed with the idea of updating my Facebook timeline to reflect today as The Day I Lost All Faith in Humanity. Here’s why.

Generally, I like to think that though I have little power and agency, I can do small things to make the world a little better. I can introduce students to ideas they didn’t know about, I can try to get my crazy-ass relatives to understand that liberals aren’t as evil as we seem, and I can breed cute little bulldogs (still one for sale!). Occasionally, I even take a foray into worldwide human rights issues. Whoops. Silly me. Here’s what happened this week.

1. Invisible Children decided to raise awareness and money for itself and the work it does, with the goal of getting rid of a horrible human being who has ruined tens of thousands of lives. It put together a video and, through its remarkable marketing efforts, that video went viral. I was apparently the second-to-last person to see it, which makes me feel like we’re in high school all over again and I’m the last one to find out there’s a kick-me sign taped to my back; anyway, I reposted it. I thought the video was powerful, though I recognized the part with the kid as a base attempt at cultivating pathos. Still, I didn’t know who Kony was or that he was No. 1 on the list of international war criminals. What a great effort, I thought. We’ll call that “Tuesday.” It may in fact have been Wednesday because, well, kick me sign and everything, but whatever.

2. The next day, the entire Internet lashed out against Invisible Children, proclaiming its video to be propaganda and its methods manipulative and unhelpful. Anyone who had learned something from the video was made to feel stupid by a lot of smug assholes sitting on their hands doing nothing but smug assholiness, proffering no suggestions, just endless condemnation of sheep and sheepiness and the unwashed, unlearnt masses. We’ll call that “Wednesday.”

3. The next day, the entire Internet erupted in a case of kumbaya, trying to find middle ground: Maybe IC stretched the facts, maybe they needed transparency, maybe they’re pursuing the wrong method, but gosh darn it, folks, aren’t they effective? Didn’t they raise awareness? Isn’t that worth something? Okay, just a little bit? Anything? …We’ll call that “Thursday.”

Well fuck all, but I am tired. I am tired of getting my hopes up that the world is getting better, that people are sitting up and taking notice of atrocities and doing something about it, and I’m tired of having that rug pulled out from under us. Nothing is worth doing anymore because it’s not the right people doing it, or using the right methods, or giving you the right information. This is the message we’re told by millions of people calling us stupid and ignorant.

And they’re right. Or partly right: I didn’t do my due diligence. I didn’t check the charity’s transparency, didn’t fact-check their claims, didn’t research whether that was the right method.

Because you know what? I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH. I’m sorry that I trusted this charity, and I’m even sorrier that the lesson from it that I and millions of others are learning right now is that, hey, you, over there, with the hopes, dreams, and aspirations of making the world better? POP. There’s your balloon. The world sucks. You can’t change it, so why bother. Come sit on your thumbs like us. Let’s judge people, correct them, sometimes even in very kind and condescending ways, but let’s not offer any alternatives or suggestions.

Everything is so fucking futile.

Potential course in rhetoric of politics and argumentation

§ February 13th, 2012 § Filed under edutainment, job thingy § Tagged , § 9 Comments

Occasionally a writing assignment comes to me and it is SO GREAT OMG I LOVE IT and then I wonder how, exactly, I’m going to justify it in an ENGLISH class. Especially when my lighting bolt is about politics, and I do not teach political science, or American studies, or anything of that ilk. But English isn’t a bad place to bring those ideas in, since their ideologic complexity and the expression of it is essentially what we do in composition.

The main idea
So here’s the idea I had today. After I put enough thought into the class in order to devise a pedagogical justification for it, I would divide the class into two, or maybe three if we’re feeling generous, political parties and ask students in each group to collaboratively come up with a figure they would like to see elected president. What positions, issues, background, education, experience, etc. would they want to see in their elected official?

But where it gets interesting would be to ask them to weigh idealism with pragmatism: what do they wish to see, but what would they be willing to accommodate — or, heaven forbid, actually compromise on — in order for the candidate to be electable?

Collaboration
I think the collaborative part of this assignment is the best part because students will have to grapple with the way idealism and cynicism collide when it comes to politics, and to me that is one of the toughest things to figure out: what is sacred, what is necessary, what is effective — and what isn’t. Groups, to me, are the best place to tussle with these issues because there is real dialogue, as opposed to what you often see and read.

Even better, students would have to dig deeply into issues that we encounter every day, but there’d be little room — if devised correctly — for them to keep to shallow preconceptions. Especially in a group. At the very least, they’d have to consider candidates’ stances on abortion, immigration, the environment, energy, entitlements, defense spending, education, crime, poverty, jobs — I could go on.

Breaking it down
I suppose that if I did this assignment over a quarter, there would be three main writing assignments. First, students could do early, individual papers on those issues mentioned above that they in turn share with the group at large as it collaborates on creating its ideal candidate. Students would need to be well informed on the issues in order to decide how to position their candidate, so if each student (approx. 13 students per group, so 13 issues covered) researches and writes a paper laying out the national conversation on, say, abortion, and presents the various sides of the debate, the group could use that paper — and each of the 13 papers — to become better informed as they make their choices.

The second assignment would be the collaborative, and hopefully creative and multimodal, presentation of their ideal candidate. Would they have a man or woman, old or young, conservative or liberal; would the candidate be a member of a minority group; what experience, background, and qualifications would help this candidate succeed; and most of all, what positions would this candidate take, and what positions would s/he be willing to compromise on in order to be elected? Students could actually create a candidate (like a doll, or an image), and would turn in a collaborative paper and/or portfolio laying out the stances on important issues this candidate takes. Perhaps a student in the group could even play the role of the candidate and give a speech in class. Students could design campaign ads and bumper stickers (using rhetorical moves learned in class) to include in the portfolio….

One of the troubles with this assignment is that students may disagree with the group in terms of what stance they believe their candidate should take. For example, a student may be ardently anti-abortion and have qualms over collaborating in a group with a pro-choice candidate. This final writing assignment is where the student reflects on the process whereby the group arrived at its candidate, and, if s/he felt it necessary, explain his/her position(s) that deviate(s) from the group. I would probably also have students talk about what they learned about rhetoric and persuasion. It is not my mission indoctrinate my students into my political beliefs; it is my mission to have students carefully consider issues and write about them thoughtfully. And there is no field better suited to the study of rhetoric than politics.

Optional activities and assignments:

  • Political debate between the two (or three) candidates
  • Class (or wider) election
  • Research opportunities including surveys and focus groups
  • Students could make new parties rather than keeping the traditional Democrat/Republican model

Constraints
Here are my current constraints, and there are many more I haven’t even had time to consider:

  • I will teach ENGL 122, which is essentially argumentation. …This curriculum seems well suited toward argumentation, actually — I kept thinking of obstacles but they seem surmountable. But is it fair to ask all my students — a couple of whom are not even U.S. citizens — to spend all quarter on a political theme? Especially in a world already supersaturated with campaigns — although isn’t understanding that world part of what an education is about? Plus the inclusion of rhetorical analysis is well suited to political rhetoric….
  • I also teach similar classes in a penitentiary where my students’ do not currently have (and for some, will never have) the right to vote, so this curriculum would be useless there.
  • The amount of time the collaborative part of this project would take seems prohibitive. I could easily see two or three weeks of the quarter disappearing down a rabbit hole while students self-democratize to get the collaborative part done. We might need an online (or Google Docs) forum for students to collaborate in their own time.
  • Honestly, are traditionally aged college freshman going to be interested enough to keep up a full head of steam on this project for an entire quarter?
I would love some feedback on this idea. My apologies for having just sort of shat it out over the page — today is the first time I’ve considered it and I’m sure what I’ve written is incomplete and, in some cases, misguided. So, thoughts?

Facebook discussion, redux

§ February 13th, 2012 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of § Tagged § 2 Comments

“You guys, I’m going to post something really controversial, okay? But I don’t want anyone to disagree with me. This isn’t up for debate. This is just how I feel, okay? And I’m just saying it because that’s how I feel. And I don’t want a discussion, which is why I’m putting it out in a public domain. Okay? Remember, NO TALKSIES. I’m just publicly stating something controversial so I can get it off my chest, but I don’t want to actually think about it, or make anyone else think about it, though feel free to press “Like” as many times as possible. I’m just sayin’. Just sayin’ somethin’ I believe. But NO THINKING. Okay? Are you ready?”

2011-2012 Broncos prediction update

§ January 1st, 2012 § Filed under football § Tagged , , § No Comments

So here’s what I predicted back whenever. And here’s what actually happened.

Oakland at Denver: predicted Denver. Wrong.
Cincinnati at Denver: Predicted Cincinnati. Wrong.
@Tennessee: Predicted Denver. Wrong.
@Green Bay: Predicted Green Bay. Correct.
San Diego at Denver: Predicted San Diego. Correct.
Bye
@Miami: Predicted Denver win. Correct.
Detroit: Predicted Denver win. Wrong.
@Oakland: Predicted Denver win. Correct.
@Kansas City: Predicted Denver loss. Wrong.
New York Jets at Denver: Predicted Denver loss. Wrong.
@San Diego: Predicted Denver loss. Wrong.
@Minnesota: Predicted Denver win. Correct.
Chicago at Denver: Predicted Denver loss. Wrong.
New England at Denver: Predicted Denver loss. Correct.
@Buffalo: Predicted Denver win. Wrong.
Kansas City at Denver: Predicted Denver win. Wrong.

I was correct 6/16. Worse score I’ve ever gotten, I think.

The one thing I did predict? An 8-8 record. The thing I didn’t predict: Denver going to the playoffs. Nor did I predict Denver, San Diego, and Oakland all having an 8-8 record with KC only a game behind, nor did I predict Tebow’s six-game winning streak, then three-game collapse.

On being perpetually 15 minutes late

§ November 20th, 2011 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, boy genius § No Comments

Ugh. Long story short, we are in Honolulu. We’re supposed to be in Maui, but owing to a fog delay, we missed our connection (by fifteen minutes), made what seemed like a lucky standby coincidental connection to Honolulu but have not yet managed, in spite of a billion phone calls and customer service reps and flights to Maui, to make it to Maui.

There are worse things than spending an unexpected night in Honolulu, I must say. I just wish we were (1) not at an airport hotel and well out of walking distance of, like, anything, and (2) that it were not raining, which makes No. 1 totally null. However, the boy was awesome today. What a trouper. And my in-laws are awesome, and my husband is awesome, and my Toms shoes are awesome except when you’re running a mile between the United and Hawaiian air terminals, twice, with three bags and a stroller.

On NaBloPoMo failure and canine conception

§ November 19th, 2011 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, pets § Tagged § 2 Comments

Ugh. Internets, I suck. Besides missing the very first day of NaBloPoMo, I missed another. And now, another. It’s like a metaphor, for my life. But like a smoker, I can start to quit anew every day…hmm, wait.

Anyway. Today, November 19, 2011, is the day we attempted to get my poor dog knocked up. I wasn’t there for it, but I’m told there was all kinds of weird stuff going on in the room: parts were massaged, positions were tried, things were injected into places.

And honestly, I feel like a sell-out. I worked at a humane society a long time back — I know how hard it is to get dogs adopted out. I know how much it sucks to see animals die because people are jerks. And I guess I’m one of the jerks bringing more unnecessary dogs into the world.

Except.

Except — ugh. I really want there to be an except, so I’ll make one: Except the dogs I’m responsible for bringing into the world won’t be unloved or unwanted. They’ll go to homes that are well vetted (by me, personally); they’ll be taken by people who can afford to pay not only for the dogs, but for the sometimes expensive care that ownership entails.

Except.

The people who buy these dogs wouldn’t be going to a humane society, anyway.

Except.

I love this breed: I love their energy, enthusiasm, curiosity, their contentment and love and slobbers and wrinkles. I love the way they breathe and snort and run out of energy at inopportune times and you have to carry them halfway down Tomer Butte and another mile up to your house, all fifty pounds of him, his slobbery mug resting on your shoulder. That’s a bulldog. They’re funny and loving, great with kids, not territorial, they don’t bark, they don’t bite, they don’t need long walks every day (though that’s fine, too); they just want love. And did I mention the wrinkles and cuddles and exuberance.

So, there. There’s my rationale. It’s flimsy and it sucks, and yes, part of why I’m doing this is for profit. And to pay the expenses of breeding and potential C-section, and to ensure the dogs go to homes that can afford them. But really, I love this kind of dog. And I love my Lucy, and Julius and Cleo before her, and Theo before them, and Angus before him. I’ve loved these dogs all my life and I hope that maybe other people can get that experience, too.

On tonight’s Broncos game

§ November 17th, 2011 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, football § Tagged , , § No Comments

Wow. I mean, WOW. Slow start, wild finish. I hate Tebow’s arm, hate the fact that he’s being lauded for winning a game when he CAN’T THROW THE DAMN BALL, but I love his legs and I love Broncos wins, and I love seeing Rex Ryan look like he’s trying to shit a turtle.

On going back to work

§ November 15th, 2011 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, job thingy § No Comments

Childcare crisis averted; we’ve found a daycare. This means I return to the workforce in January. Not that I’m not in it now, but my few hours of freelance writing aren’t exactly raking in the big bucks (nor, as it turns out, are my unpaid hours of editing for friends and family). However, if the freelancing continues, between that and my teaching schedule I should make just enough to pay the mortgage each month. I guess having a roof over our heads is better than nothing.

While on the one hand I look forward to going back to work, the challenge of, say, taking a shower before 9 a.m. does seem rather daunting. I wonder how ever shall I do it.

On sorting things out

§ November 14th, 2011 § Filed under blogs i'm not really proud of, pets § Tagged , § No Comments

It’s Day 2 of The Husband Is Being More Productive Than Me, and his cleaning and organizing the storage room can only mean one thing: he’s avoiding something. What that is, I couldn’t say. But why else would he spend all evening sorting through boxes and asking me what I want done with old magazines, baby clothes, papers, and why else is he leaving passive aggressive piles of stuff on my side of the bed for me to “take care of”?

Too bad I have no problem taking care of these piles by putting them back exactly where he found them.

(In marriage counseling, this blog post will be logged into evidence as Exhibit 1.)

And in other marriage-related news, Lucy has literally gone off to a nice farm in the country to spend Thanksgiving: she’s staying with my parents on their acreage for a few weeks, and if she gets lucky, there will be an arranged conjugal visit with a local bulldog stud. If she’s not lucky, one of the neighbor’s miniature donkeys will take a shine to her and we’ll end up with a litter of bullonkeys.

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